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U.S. Quotes

September 2nd, 2006 | Print

September 2, 2006

Beth: I’m not mentally prepared for this.
Lauren: Are we sure we want to go? 

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Blackberry

Beth: Where’s my blackberry?

(90 seconds after FedExing it back to Fenton)

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The LA Experience

Girl in Target: Sunglasses shopping is like harder than jeans shopping and lingerie shopping, combined.

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Time to Change Banks

Washington Mutual Customer Service Agent: Well, a checking account is for spending money and a savings account is for saving money.

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Christmas Mass?

Kerry: I think we already did our duty. We went to a Jesus store.  And I live by a church, so I have holiness wafting in my window.

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Too Many Mai-Tais

Mrs. Barker: What’s a name for a rodent with three letters that starts with an ‘r’?
Lauren: Mouse?

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I’m Rich, B****!

Timeshare Sales Guy: Have you ever stayed in a Holiday Inn?
Beth: Sure.
Sales Guy: Would you stay there for a week?
Beth: Uh… no…
Sales Guy: Good, cause if you said yes, we wouldn’t have anything more to talk about.

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Otherwise Known as Granchildren

Timeshare Sales Guy: This is not for your children.  It’s for your children’s children.

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Back in America

Entertainment Tonight host: Why do you think people are obsessed with [Britney Spears]?
Expert: Because people are.

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Together Again

Lauren: Oh, I was looking around for your blackberry.

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He was talking about the accent

[Name withheld]: There’s a fine line between being Southern and being retarded.

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Now I know I’m Home

SC Newspaper Front-Page Headline: Hog Hunter Shoots Self, Misses Hog


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