Wrong Answer
Taxi: I’ll take you.
Lauren: No, we have someone picking us up.
Taxi: It’s me.
Beth: Who sent you.
Taxi: Me. I sent myself.
Profiling
Oren (Israel): You’re British. You like beer.
==
Import/Export
Dallas: When I was in Ethiopia, for like, 2 dollars, you could get a big shopping bag of weed, like 2 pounds.
Lauren: Two dollars?!? Are you serious? Can you imagine how much money you could… No, this is not a new concept.
==
Non Sequitur
Dallas: So the rainy season begins now?
Taxi driver: Yeah, I’ve got to pick up some pineapples.
==
Spoken Just Like The… State Department
Dallas: I started reading the Koran and it’s pretty heave handed. It’s not, you know, very chill.
==
E-Harmony in Ethiopia
Dallas: It’s not like I have many savory intercourse options here.
==
Lost in Translation
Ugandan sign: Why Buy Costly Indifferent Imported Rice When You Can Have Home Grown Tasty Rice…
==
More African Pickup Lines
African #1: You are just so beautiful; I can’t stop looking at you.
**
African #2: I’ll take this one; she’s just my size.
**
African #3: Are you married or are you a young girl?
==
Exactly What Kind of Lesbian Thing?
Dallas: Wait, what’s you last name?
Beth: George.
Dallas: Oh, I thought that was something Lauren called you… some lesbian thing.
==
Lariam Junkies
Lauren: I don’t understand why junkies aren’t all over the Lariam.
Dallas: Yeah, it’s kind of like heroine.
Beth: Without any of the nice side effects.
==
Girardia, Dysentery, Hook Worm
Dallas (on the way to the Congo): See you guys actually avoid diseases while I actively pursue them.
==
More Shining American Moments
Beth: There’s a yellow flower over there and it’s, like, really yellow.
==
Yes, We Drank It
Dallas: Look at this Konyagi. It looks like lamp oil
==
Conversations with Gad (pronounced ‘God’)
Unnamed traveler: I felt weird about asking God for weed.
**
Lauren: Did you talk to God about watching a movie tonight?
**
Lauren: Go ask God.
Beth: That’s not God.
Lauren: Who is it?
Beth: That’s God’s little helper.
**
Beth: Is God around?
God’s little helper: Who?
Beth: God.
God’s little helper: God has not left. Do you need to speak with him now?
Beth: No, but when God’s available, let me know.
==
Desperately Seeking Civilization
Beth: We can probably put them in a washing machine… if we ever find one.
==
City Girl
Lauren: I hate sleeping in complete darkness. It doesn’t feel natural.
==
No, You Shouldn’t
Dallas: You should start an NGO, Pot for Tots, LLC.
==
Positive Reinforcement
Beth: Are you filming that? Are you stupid?
==
International Women’s Day is March 8
Dallas (U.S.A.): The only time I’ve hit a woman is definitely by accident.
**
Dallas: Anyway, as I was saying, the only one I’ve hit was my high school girlfriend. Which was the one who probably actually deserved it.
**
Dallas: I don’t like shitting where women are going to be.
==
More Shining American Moments
American girl: In basketball you can’t jump.
American boy: Uh, yes you can.
American girl: Well, in women’s basketball you can’t jump.
==
I Heart U.S.A.
Lauren: The Americans left this morning, thank god.
Dallas: I know, they were inarticulate and illiterate.
==
UGANDAN TOASTS
Cheers to our African Adventures/To Bell Beer/To Mexican in Africa/To Lake Bunyonyi/To the box/To the cabin
