Lazy Tourists

Nico Tourist Board Guy: Did you go hiking, swimming, kayaking?
Lauren: No.
Nico Tourist Board Guy: Surfing? Boating?
Lauren: No
Nico Tourist Board Guy: Nada?
Lauren: Nada.
Nico Tourist Board Guy: Nada nada?
Beth: Nada nada.

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See you later!

Jerry: Okay, I’ll just be here drinking.

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Shining American Moment

Drunk American Girl: Everyone always talks about how much it hurts to get kicked in the cock.  But do you know how much it hurts to get kicked in the vagina?

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The Truth About Grad School

Beth: What do you do with a Masters in Anthropology?
Jess (N.C.): You get a Doctorate in Anthropology.

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Regarding Rum

Very Drunk Nicaraguan: This is my blood.

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Mortal Conflict

Jess (N.C.): I don’t really want to die.  That’s the thing.  But I love white-water rafting.

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No One Has Ever Asked Us That Before… That Way

Nicky (Louisiana): Are ya’ll lesbians?

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Slumming It

Beth: When the road starts getting torn up, you know you’re at our hostel.

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Shining American Moment

Nancy Grace: When you’re living in a car, that leads me to believe that you’re homeless.

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What You Have Been Doing Wrong

Jenny (Hawaii): I was told that around here you have to look people in the eye when you cheers or you get 7 years of bad sex.
Nicky (Louisiana): That explains a lot.

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Attention, Ladies and Gentlemen, There’s a Problem With the Aircraft

Nicky (Louisiana): Do they not realize that there are people with panic issues on board?  I mean, fly the plane low enough that I can jump out and I’ll just float my ass somewhere.

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Pregnant Out of Wedlock 

Beth: Mary is the ultimate con artist.  She makes Hilary Clinton look like a saint. 

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Where is Jenny?

Lauren: What are we going to do?
Beth: Nothing.  We can’t file a missing person report for someone we met two days ago who didn’t show up for breakfast.

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Traveler’s Fatigue

Beth: At this point, it’s not about seeing stuff for me, it’s about getting home.