You Can’t Handle the Truth

Timeshare Guy: Is it that you don’t trust me?
Beth: No… well, yes.

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Belizean Gourmet

Beth: I don’t think you can “garnish” something with fried beans.

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Short Legs

Beth: I don’t understand.  If the Mayans were so short, why did they make such steep steps?

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Still More Stomach Issues

Lauren: Why did you say you’re sick of shitting when you haven’t shit for days?
Beth: I’m sick of shitting playing such a huge role in my life. Will I shit? Will I not shit? Is my shit healthy? Where can I take a shit? How long will this shit take..?

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Lazy Tourists

Nico Tourist Board Guy: Did you go hiking, swimming, kayaking?
Lauren: No.
Nico Tourist Board Guy: Surfing? Boating?
Lauren: No
Nico Tourist Board Guy: Nada?
Lauren: Nada.
Nico Tourist Board Guy: Nada nada?
Beth: Nada nada.

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The Barkers

Uncle Greg: We’re the Barkers.  This is how we do it.  We’re late in every country, in any place, at any time.

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Pop-Snorkel

Beth: Hey, you know the fish that Ellen played in Little Nemo?
Lauren: Ya…
Beth: It’s over there. (more…)

The Apple Falls Far From the Tree

Beth: I could just see your mother’s face if they asked her to pay $5 Lauren: My mother does not pitch fits at international border crossings… That would be me.

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Peruvian Cuisine

Beth: My stomach muscles are sore and I think they’re sore from trying to hold in all the food.

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Trying New Foods

Lauren: Can I still drink this?
Beth: Yes.
Lauren: But there is a bug in it.
Beth: Do you know how many bugs you eat a day?
Lauren: Not Bolivian bugs.

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