Belizean Gourmet
Beth: I don’t think you can “garnish” something with fried beans.
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But What Big Teeth You Have, Grandma!
Taxi Driver: Don’t be afraid. You are in good hands.
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More Bedtime Stories
Mural on Church: Come to me children. Let me show you the fear of the Lord.
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Home Sweet Home
Lauren: I want to be on a New York subway where people are grumpy and ignore me and I can say FU to them if they annoy me.
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More Shining American Moments
CNN Reporter: Lady Bird Johnson died today who did so much to beautify our highways. Think of her every time you drive by wildfires… uh wild flowers.
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And You Are?
Beth: He’s not the brightest bulb in the socket.
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Why?
Sign: Jah Se So
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Just Like Painting a Room
Lauren: Somehow I can’t see us not having children. You and I like projects, and children are the ultimate project.
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More Shining American Moments
American Girl #1: Um, your… um…
American Girl #2: What?!
American Girl #1: Your nipple is showing
American Girl #2: Oh. Thanks.
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You Don’t Say
German Girl: You guys behave differently with your children than we do in Germany. You know… you’re more relaxed.
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More Shining American Moments
American Girl: …and I was like, I’m going to leak through this tampon and leave a blood trail for the sharks.
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Belize Time
Beth: It’s 2:30. It’s not too early to start drinking.
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You Have to Know the Family to Get This One
Lauren: We need to stop worrying about wrinkles. We’re not old. Look at Auntie Go-Go. If she had, at 28, started worrying about wrinkles…
Beth: She’d be Nana.
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A Question Only a Lesbian Would Ask
Beth: How do you spell penises?
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Beth Rock
Beth: Maybe I shouldn’t be in international relations. Maybe I should be a comedian.
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Who Am I Dating?
Lauren: Blog… I mean, Beth
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More Shining American Moments
American Woman: We can’t buy him a shirt with beer or anything on it. He’s a recovering addict.
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More Shining American Moments
American Girl: I don’t want to drink tonight because I’m scared I’ll drink too much and be hung-over tomorrow.
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Ogling
Beth: If you are going to stare, at least put on your sunglasses.
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Graceful and Proud
Lauren: This guy is so obsessed with himself. I think he’s a diver.
Beth: Or a homosexual.
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Who Needs the Book?
Lauren: You should be in the Lonely Planet.
Maurice (owner of Wish Willy’s): This is my Lonely Planet.
==
BELIZE CHEERS:
To Wish Willy/To free rum/To Bailey’s Coladas
